Top 20 Epic Valentine Fails!

In Blog by Arthur Greeno0 Comments

 

She said “Don’t get me anything for Valentine’s Day,” so I didn’t. Wrong move! After a conference I went up to one of the speakers and asked him, “What has made you so successful?” He looked toward me and after pausing for a moment said, “Two words: Good judgement.” I was puzzled – I mean, how do I get this? So I asked him, “How do you get the wisdom to make good judgement?” He smiled and replied, “Bad judgement!”

The Journey Training is a program that excels in providing tools for people to look in the mirror of their life, evaluate their responses, and then take steps in the direction they truly want to go. Though we are not a seminar focused solely on marriage and relationships, we’ve found that when someone focuses on themselves and begins to make improvements, it always has a positive impact on their spouse or significant other.

We polled several alumni from The Journey Training classes to help create the best Valentine’s Day yet. No. It’s not a “Top Ten Best Restaurants” or even the “Top Five Best Gifts,” it’s even better than that!

Here are the top 20 things NOT do in a relationship on Valentine’s Day… according to our real-life responses on Facebook for their most epic Valentine’s Day fail!

1. Okay, the worst present I ever got Holly was about 10 years ago. I got her a “gift certificate” to a nail salon. I was in a hurry that day so I printed it on the home printer – all official with the logo of the salon and I wrapped it. However, in my rush I actually forgot to “buy” the gift certificate at the salon. Not good – not good at all. She later took the fake certificate to the salon, proceeded to argue with the employee for almost an hour, demanding she redeem it for her Mani-Pedi. Really…not good at all.

2. I was given a nose hair trimmer, if that was not gross enough, I later found out he bought it for $1 at a garage sale.

3. My ex bought me a laser hair removal package for a gift once. I guess he thought he was married to a Sasquatch! It was extremely painful to redeem!

4. We had been married TEN years when my husband gave me pierced diamond earrings for Valentine’s Day. But my ears aren’t even pierced. We have now been married 40 years & he will always be the love of my life. He tries very hard to please me.

5. I once got Jeanette a strawberry margarita… in a can… from a gas station! She said it tasted like gasoline mixed with alcoholic Kool-Aid. I really thought I was winning when I bought it. I most definitely did not win.

6. Seriously, my brother-in-law got my sister a scale! Yes, you heard it right. He said, “Well I knew you wanted to lose weight, so I thought it might help.”

7. I got here a shotgun so “we” could go duck hunting. We’ve never been duck hunting together and the shotgun still hasn’t been fired. It was my gift to her on our 2nd wedding anniversary.

8. A Rice Steamer! Should have seen the look on her face.

9. Speaker stands for MY surround sound system, and a set of pots and pans.

10. A cordless lawn trimmer.

11. I bought her an elliptical machine. “Thanks… wait. What are you trying to say?”

12. I got her a box of Cascade and a $20 bill! Still not sure why she didn’t like it.

13. An ex-boyfriend gave me a picture of himself. No frame. Not even a nice picture. Just a photo printed from Walgreens.

14. We are always throwing out food from the refrigerator that had set too long without eating, SOOO… I thought, wah-lah! “A food preserver.” Yeah she’ll love it!! Vacuum sealed freshness. HA! We have never used the dang thing. Still have it though!

15. I am hoping this gives some guys some wisdom! I mixed up the Christmas presents once and took the wrong gift to my in-laws. You should have seen the look on my mother-in-law’s face when she received edible panties & hand cuffs from me!

16. I got nothing but a card and it was terrible, not even romantic at all and I told my husband I hated it. He gave me the EXACT same card 2 years later. What an insult!

17. A few years back, I was so busy at work that I worked right through Valentine’s Day… and on the 15th I gave my wife a card, flowers, and candy and was planning dinner thinking it was Valentine day.

18. My husband has always been a poor gift giver, even after I have told him “I would really like such-n-such,” he still gives me nothing. Zilch, nada, nothin! So when I came home to find a gift on his side of the dresser, I was excited to think that my man finally got me my first Valentine’s gift after 6 years of marriage! It was a beautiful, super soft, plush white Teddy Bear with a red bow. I was in love thinking about how much he loves me. I carried that bear around all day admiring it and thinking about him and searching the house for the chocolate I knew he had probably gotten me. He came home that evening, sees me holding the bear, smiles, and says, “Do you like what I got my mom for her birthday?” AGH! Her birthday is on the 16th and I can officially say 23 years going strong and still no Valentine’s Day gifts. So now I buy myself flowers, hand him the receipt, and say thank you.

19. My worst Valentine’s gift was… A box of chocolates… YES! My husband knew I was on a diet/no sugar and he ended up eating them. I’ve always wondered if he bought them for himself to enjoy.

20. One year I waited until the last minute, and I knew my wife loves coffee, so I went and bought her a coffee cup with her favorite saying on it. The gift looks sort of plain so I bought chocolates and candy to fill it up. One problem: I bought her all of the candy that I like, not that she likes. And then I ate the candy myself! (Well, it was just sitting there staring at me!) The second problem is every time she drank coffee in the morning she was reminded of that horrible gift I gave her…and ate myself.”

So what are the common threads? Guys want to purchase our gals things that WE want, not things that SHE wants. I know that we want to look cool – like we have it all together. The bottom line is if you don’t know what to get her, ASK her. Sometimes I am afraid of the reaction that says, “You should know me well enough that you don’t need to ask!” If that is what you’re afraid of, then I need to ask this. Is it worth your epic fail being on this page? ASK!!  If you are looking for a group of guys to keep you out of the Doghouse, try one of our Guys Nights!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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